F.I.A.

I don't like my shower. And here's why , step out of shower BOOM, there's the mirror . Ok reality check "is this a trick mirror like in a fun house ?" No. Oh wheres my glasses yea thats it. OH GOD takem off takem off. I really don't care for mirrors,I didn't just make that up either. I truly have not liked them fer awhile.I have not dressed in front of a mirror in years .In fact if wasnt for the obvious I wouldn't use one to shave. I can't stand another 7 years of bad luck or I would just break em when I see em. I stepped into the shower the other day and whoops slip bam.There was shampoo from one end to the other. I busted my ass. A friend of mine and his wife were here visiting and evidently she shakes her shampoo before using.The cap was loose and hair soap went flying up on on the ceiling, the wall, the shower curtian and most importantly the floor . The question I ask is simply " Why ?" I read up on the bottle and just to let you nowhere does it say shake vigorously or shake at all. Needless to say weekend plans changed. Instead of drinks and a show it was tylenol 4 and a snore. So back to my point if I could get out of my shower and see a six pack and a smile....ok that may work,6 pack of Bud Light and no no anyway . So my work out schedule hasn't been as well worked out as I wanted or planned. In fact I think it may be unhealthy. I am sure I nearly died a couple of times.I think us fat guys should be able to go to the gym,get on a treadmill at little to no speed watch the girl in front of us on the bike for 5 minutes, shower and out of there all that for 19.95 a month , Hell I'm in. I have considered the staple the stomach thing , Dr said not big enough. Others are not so sure. This is one time I didn't seek a second opinion. 59% yep that is percentage of obesity in America. You know what that says to me ? That we are the majority. Hell yea people rejoice. Fat in America, The F.I.A. if you will. Y'all are out numbered.Do not piss us off Pelosi. Soccer Moms beware. Fia packs a punch! uh, oh, lunch that is.We could have our own million pound march on Washington. Think of it. Sponsored by Coke, McDonalds,BK,Candy bar companies,Lays chips and snacks,Papa Johns,oh and Bud Light. Hang on I will be back made myself hungry. Ok back. But alas we are are our own worst enemy. We try to make ourselves feel better by making fun of other fat asses. Like this woman I saw at walmart omg her ass was huge.I am sure that when she sat on the toilet there was a more ass off the seat then on it, my cousin has really let herself go. Ha just joking. I think there may be a conspiricy ,I saw an old friend he was huge and walking out of the Pizza Hut Buffet. I said hey how are ya haven't seen you in awhile . He let me know that he was on disability because he was to big to work,he was there with his brother who is also on the program and was big as a house.Pissed me off there are people starving,and also waiting on thier own disability,but we give money to our fat people before our starving children. Seems ass backwards or back asswords don't it. Maybe while we are eating ourselves into oblivion(no spell chech shit),We should share the wealth! Hey that is a great diet plan. If you buy 6 milky ways and 2 chocolate milks and a super big gulp with the built in dolly, wait for it...donate 3 milky ways 1 chocolate milk and just pass on the big gulp and drop the change by someone who needs it. And don't even try to tell me you don't know someone that is hurting we all do. So listen lets pick up the pace, lets not be a burden lets be a blessing.Omg What have I done ? Now I have to take my snack back to the kitchen. Hell if we get this diet plan off the ground,I may even throw in some of the profit,well lets not get foolish ,really want that house over looking Grand Lake of the Cherokees. Hey y'all think about it, pass it on and when you drop that food or money to some folks who need it and your feeling good about yourself, tell them Willy sent ya!