Storm Chasers

I feel horrible about all these tornados lately. In fact I have friends and family that have been in the line of fire as we all probably have. I know we need better technology and wisdom when it comes to them. This is where I get crazy. These rednecks who want to get up close and personal with tornados. Why ? I understand we need to know more,but have you watched some of these idiots on the news ? They don't have any business chasing these things.Its the same as sending a rodeo clown to a catfight,neither side gets it and it just confuses the cats. I have seen some really intelligent folks that are storm chasers ,scientist in fact. Meteorologist are trained to chase. Emergency personnel are trained what to do in the presence of a tornado. There are classes and thousands of dollars in equipment and computers that you need to be a chaser. We don't need Elroy and his 4x4 out running around in swimming suits and boots and a cowboy hat getting in the way of the pros.Did you know that on a Clorox bottle it says "DO NOT DRINK" Its there for a reason and yes it scares the hell out of me that people have actually grabbed a bottle of pure bleach and drank it. Do these people need to read every warning label really ? Well these are the folks that don't need to chase.You see them on t.v. holding up a Bud Light shirtless with a tornado in the background. Chasers are born with it in their blood. They are not born with the urge to jump in a truck and drive thru a huge mudhole. NO! that is for people like me. I wasn't born with the storm chasing gene,butt my sister was, oh yea. There needs to be a warning sign on my sister's truck. WARNING: TORNADOS MAY BE CLOSER THAN YOU WOULD LIKE HANG ON AND PRAY.Do not be riding with my sister at anytime there are storms in the area.You will be a victum of circumstance. A friend saw me with her one time, said I looked like Garfield hanging from the window with the fear of God in my face. He has had nightmares ever since then , just can't shake that image poor feller. Growing up in Tornado alley all my life was ,,,,was,,, scarey,traumatic. My Dad was drawn to them,so he would drag Sister and I out at all hours " Lets go see the tornado" I did'nt care much for chasing a tornado,its like chasing a pitbull what are you gonna do when you catch it ? However my sister would be at the ready have her clothes and flashlight ready. And she was so young , I believe should have car surfed into the tornado if Dad would have let her and I am not so sure he did'nt consider it . She would scream "CLOSER" I am sure that was the first time Dad ever heard me drop the "F" bomb. I should have copywritten "FUCK THAT!" Then there I was stuck and screaming on the back window with that fear of God look. I am sure I made my Daddy proud them days, not. But I more than made up for it with my redneck stupid shit.But I never went tornado chasing willingly. My sister is a twister in herself. She has the equipment and still wants more hell she even has magnetic door signs. I want to find her a shirt and a bumper sticker that reads " I am a trained weather spotter if you see me running it's too late". She recently purchased a boat. I am so happy that it does not run right now as I am sure she had thoughts of dressing it up to be the first lake storm chaser. I feel like some of these people have run out of things to do . They are thrill seekers and won't be happy till they see the light of the other side and come back. You know who you are. Fred Bear once said and I quote " If some of our teenage thrill seekers really want to go out and get a thrill, let them go up into the northwest and tangle with the Grizzly Bear, the Polar Bear , and the Brown Bear. They will get their kicks,and it will cleanse their souls." So watch out for Elroy and the good ole boys,stay out of the way of our emergency workers and storm chasers and by all means, Do not I repeat do not jump in the truck with my sister and her family when there is dark clouds.You will need some time alone for changing your underwear and rethinking life in general. Gotta go ,,yall be neighborly.

Sister

Man you talk about a tough time lately, not only did I take a fall at work I have been having some health issues too. And I will be completly honest,it has been a little scary.For an old beat up dog like me to be scared is stupid I know. I was told I had type 2 diabetes several years ago and chose to deny it. Now my pancreas has complely quit me and now I am a type 1 which means I am insulin dependent.When you have a busy schedule and demanding at that it seems impossible to care for it. Well, seems impossible.After a fall the other night and a trip to the hospital.It was determined that my spleen and liver are enlarged and a few bruised ribs ,shoulder ,elbow you know the whole thing. When the pain only got worse and other things happened.My sister insisted that I come to her house and let her take the reins on my health. Good thing I did. My pain is from the constant swelling of my spleen and liver.And the root of the problem is diabetes. I hope its not too late to change my ways.I am going to start watching my diet better. Watching and counting carbs, and what a giant pain in the ass this is,shit ! I have heard of carbs but never cared what they were and that is just crazy. Been eating what I like except of course sweets.The buck stops here, my sister is putting and end to old wetwillys ways, and I will be a healthier and better man for it.Problem is about everything she read off that I can eat,gives me gas. Oh good more gas ! I really need no help in that matter.I already have enough to supply a small country in methane gas for a while.Bad thing is my job is about 40% riding in elevators 40% dealing with guest issues in rooms,and the other 20% walking the front of the house. So there is hardly any alone time.I can't blame it on the dog. I can however blame other things and believe me I have them down packed. Such as "oh that smell, yea its a belt that burned on the fan" or " Its a chemical housekeeping uses, smells like shit huh ?" It is in that same elevator that I fell with the help of a less than bright feller in housekeeping. He just forgot to put out the wet floor signs after mopping.Slip whoop bam and hard too.And this isn't the first time he has done it. He really isn't a bad kid he is just lasy to extremes.I knew I was hurt when I hit the floor, you know what I mean,you just know.I made my room call and a couple of more and had to call it a night,riger had set in.So a moral to all this rambling is take care of yourself,if you are fortunate enough to have a wonderful sister as I do , let them know just how you feel . I love you Michelle ! thank you for taking care of me .And if you fart in public have a story ready.

Good Day

Neighbors 3

Well my neighbor is moving. And to all places Midland.He has lost his gilfriend,no big loss.I would have lost her months ago,in fact I would have never found her.His roomate moved out. All he has that loves him and not real sure of that are his dogs and cats. He has four dogs and 2 cats. And he is going to live in his van. Oh and lest we forget the turtles he has living in his ice chest. We live on a lake and he takes the turtles from the lake and puts them in an ice chest. I know most of you are saying poor turtles,when all I can think is what a waste of beer storage. He is not all there and in fact I helped him get his job in Midland. Well Curtis did all the foot work. My sister is worried I will lose my inspiration for writing.But rest assured the next idiot that moves in will be just as bad I am sure.
We have a dry creek in front of the house,its nice when it rains.(when it rains).The other night we had a 12 inch main water line break up the hill from us.I went by the house and they are playing in the creek.Not a cloud in the sky and he says a levy must have broke.I swear he did, we have no levys we have dams and we have had no rain or at least not enough to blow out a dam. The guy lives in a time and place where idiots roam with reckless abandon.They played as if they had never seen water.Splashing around washing the dogs and clothes,themselves, panning for gold, well ok thats pushing it they didnt wash themselves. And all the while we have water,water is paid where we live,not to mention the beautiful swimming pool. And to top that off ,WE LIVE ON A LAKE ! Cuz and I did enjoy the bubbling crick with a few cold ones on the lawn chairs at the tiki bar later,but I swear we didnt get in. I fell in trying too pee off the porch but that was all.And no I didn't pee upstream from the frolickers ,,,,much.
I am not sure but I think he may have been the one who through big rocks in the pool. I ask why? I am wondering what he is going to do with all his stuff ? I don't want it. I don't know who would.If we werent under a burn ban. Ha .... Hey people be neighborly