I want to hunt ghost too

I love watching all the ghost hunting shows.And I guess it is because that some of us at some time have encounterd something that we may not be able to explain,such as who took the last cookie ? What the hell happened to my keys and how did they end up there in the pants I wore last night? Spooky ain't it.I think that some of these ghost pop up because they are hungry, offer them something to eat dammit.If I pop up it isn't because I am pissed! it's because I want a sliced brisket sandwich for god sakes and a Bud Light. So believe me if I start hunting ghost, I won't provoke them,hell no I don't want one to jump out and cause me to have a bowel movement. You can get more with a kind word and a brownie, I bet ya ghost like brownies,or a chicken fried steak. Call in a pizza set at a table ask them to join in a conversation. Look I am not making fun of these shows I really do like them. Josh Gates with Destination Truth along with Ryder and the rest of the crew are great. Josh makes it all good with his good nature and he is out loud funny. I believe he will be the first to offer food . Soon after Ryder will tumble. Ghost Hunters,A couple of plumbers who hunt. I truly like the way the try to debunk all the whilst giving us a chill.Ghost Adventures is really great every friday. I feel they may have to have a season of hunting like those king crab hunters in alaska. 30 days to find ghost add it up as we go. My friend Tony had promiced that we will go ghost hunting in Austin on segways.Do they have a weight limit on them ? I hope the brownie don't take me over limit ? See now I am hungry Don't think there are any ghost in the kitchen though. Thats good don't want to share anyway. Happy all hallows eve, from ole wetwilly the ghost feeder.

Pain

I hate even writing this ,it sounds like to me I am whining. But in all honesty, it goes back to Daddy Jack English in High School. I remember him saying that we are not as strong as we think we are . I really thought I was indestructable. I have fallen off about everything you can fall off of. Ladders, trucks, pump jacks, buildings, and jump up and shake it off. But a fall on a wet floor at work has just about done me in. Extensive nerve damage that feel like someone is hitting me at a constant motion on my sisde. I can barely sit on the toilet and it is quite a task to get in the tub even for a shower.If I sit down too long it hurts ,if I stand up it hurts. I dont like pain pills, because I dont like to be without my full attention.I am 46 years old and I think there are people better off in a nursing home than I am. It truly is scary. I hope it all comes back and I can go back to work ,but it seems to be getting worse. I have even looked at people that are in my condition and thought, "they just don't want to work" Yes I am guilty of that, but here to tell you I am sorry and I am getting paid back for it.Please take care of yourselfs we only have this one body,wish I could go trade this one in but we cant.

Storm Chasers

I feel horrible about all these tornados lately. In fact I have friends and family that have been in the line of fire as we all probably have. I know we need better technology and wisdom when it comes to them. This is where I get crazy. These rednecks who want to get up close and personal with tornados. Why ? I understand we need to know more,but have you watched some of these idiots on the news ? They don't have any business chasing these things.Its the same as sending a rodeo clown to a catfight,neither side gets it and it just confuses the cats. I have seen some really intelligent folks that are storm chasers ,scientist in fact. Meteorologist are trained to chase. Emergency personnel are trained what to do in the presence of a tornado. There are classes and thousands of dollars in equipment and computers that you need to be a chaser. We don't need Elroy and his 4x4 out running around in swimming suits and boots and a cowboy hat getting in the way of the pros.Did you know that on a Clorox bottle it says "DO NOT DRINK" Its there for a reason and yes it scares the hell out of me that people have actually grabbed a bottle of pure bleach and drank it. Do these people need to read every warning label really ? Well these are the folks that don't need to chase.You see them on t.v. holding up a Bud Light shirtless with a tornado in the background. Chasers are born with it in their blood. They are not born with the urge to jump in a truck and drive thru a huge mudhole. NO! that is for people like me. I wasn't born with the storm chasing gene,butt my sister was, oh yea. There needs to be a warning sign on my sister's truck. WARNING: TORNADOS MAY BE CLOSER THAN YOU WOULD LIKE HANG ON AND PRAY.Do not be riding with my sister at anytime there are storms in the area.You will be a victum of circumstance. A friend saw me with her one time, said I looked like Garfield hanging from the window with the fear of God in my face. He has had nightmares ever since then , just can't shake that image poor feller. Growing up in Tornado alley all my life was ,,,,was,,, scarey,traumatic. My Dad was drawn to them,so he would drag Sister and I out at all hours " Lets go see the tornado" I did'nt care much for chasing a tornado,its like chasing a pitbull what are you gonna do when you catch it ? However my sister would be at the ready have her clothes and flashlight ready. And she was so young , I believe should have car surfed into the tornado if Dad would have let her and I am not so sure he did'nt consider it . She would scream "CLOSER" I am sure that was the first time Dad ever heard me drop the "F" bomb. I should have copywritten "FUCK THAT!" Then there I was stuck and screaming on the back window with that fear of God look. I am sure I made my Daddy proud them days, not. But I more than made up for it with my redneck stupid shit.But I never went tornado chasing willingly. My sister is a twister in herself. She has the equipment and still wants more hell she even has magnetic door signs. I want to find her a shirt and a bumper sticker that reads " I am a trained weather spotter if you see me running it's too late". She recently purchased a boat. I am so happy that it does not run right now as I am sure she had thoughts of dressing it up to be the first lake storm chaser. I feel like some of these people have run out of things to do . They are thrill seekers and won't be happy till they see the light of the other side and come back. You know who you are. Fred Bear once said and I quote " If some of our teenage thrill seekers really want to go out and get a thrill, let them go up into the northwest and tangle with the Grizzly Bear, the Polar Bear , and the Brown Bear. They will get their kicks,and it will cleanse their souls." So watch out for Elroy and the good ole boys,stay out of the way of our emergency workers and storm chasers and by all means, Do not I repeat do not jump in the truck with my sister and her family when there is dark clouds.You will need some time alone for changing your underwear and rethinking life in general. Gotta go ,,yall be neighborly.

Sister

Man you talk about a tough time lately, not only did I take a fall at work I have been having some health issues too. And I will be completly honest,it has been a little scary.For an old beat up dog like me to be scared is stupid I know. I was told I had type 2 diabetes several years ago and chose to deny it. Now my pancreas has complely quit me and now I am a type 1 which means I am insulin dependent.When you have a busy schedule and demanding at that it seems impossible to care for it. Well, seems impossible.After a fall the other night and a trip to the hospital.It was determined that my spleen and liver are enlarged and a few bruised ribs ,shoulder ,elbow you know the whole thing. When the pain only got worse and other things happened.My sister insisted that I come to her house and let her take the reins on my health. Good thing I did. My pain is from the constant swelling of my spleen and liver.And the root of the problem is diabetes. I hope its not too late to change my ways.I am going to start watching my diet better. Watching and counting carbs, and what a giant pain in the ass this is,shit ! I have heard of carbs but never cared what they were and that is just crazy. Been eating what I like except of course sweets.The buck stops here, my sister is putting and end to old wetwillys ways, and I will be a healthier and better man for it.Problem is about everything she read off that I can eat,gives me gas. Oh good more gas ! I really need no help in that matter.I already have enough to supply a small country in methane gas for a while.Bad thing is my job is about 40% riding in elevators 40% dealing with guest issues in rooms,and the other 20% walking the front of the house. So there is hardly any alone time.I can't blame it on the dog. I can however blame other things and believe me I have them down packed. Such as "oh that smell, yea its a belt that burned on the fan" or " Its a chemical housekeeping uses, smells like shit huh ?" It is in that same elevator that I fell with the help of a less than bright feller in housekeeping. He just forgot to put out the wet floor signs after mopping.Slip whoop bam and hard too.And this isn't the first time he has done it. He really isn't a bad kid he is just lasy to extremes.I knew I was hurt when I hit the floor, you know what I mean,you just know.I made my room call and a couple of more and had to call it a night,riger had set in.So a moral to all this rambling is take care of yourself,if you are fortunate enough to have a wonderful sister as I do , let them know just how you feel . I love you Michelle ! thank you for taking care of me .And if you fart in public have a story ready.

Good Day

Neighbors 3

Well my neighbor is moving. And to all places Midland.He has lost his gilfriend,no big loss.I would have lost her months ago,in fact I would have never found her.His roomate moved out. All he has that loves him and not real sure of that are his dogs and cats. He has four dogs and 2 cats. And he is going to live in his van. Oh and lest we forget the turtles he has living in his ice chest. We live on a lake and he takes the turtles from the lake and puts them in an ice chest. I know most of you are saying poor turtles,when all I can think is what a waste of beer storage. He is not all there and in fact I helped him get his job in Midland. Well Curtis did all the foot work. My sister is worried I will lose my inspiration for writing.But rest assured the next idiot that moves in will be just as bad I am sure.
We have a dry creek in front of the house,its nice when it rains.(when it rains).The other night we had a 12 inch main water line break up the hill from us.I went by the house and they are playing in the creek.Not a cloud in the sky and he says a levy must have broke.I swear he did, we have no levys we have dams and we have had no rain or at least not enough to blow out a dam. The guy lives in a time and place where idiots roam with reckless abandon.They played as if they had never seen water.Splashing around washing the dogs and clothes,themselves, panning for gold, well ok thats pushing it they didnt wash themselves. And all the while we have water,water is paid where we live,not to mention the beautiful swimming pool. And to top that off ,WE LIVE ON A LAKE ! Cuz and I did enjoy the bubbling crick with a few cold ones on the lawn chairs at the tiki bar later,but I swear we didnt get in. I fell in trying too pee off the porch but that was all.And no I didn't pee upstream from the frolickers ,,,,much.
I am not sure but I think he may have been the one who through big rocks in the pool. I ask why? I am wondering what he is going to do with all his stuff ? I don't want it. I don't know who would.If we werent under a burn ban. Ha .... Hey people be neighborly

Who's pissing in my plants ?

I agree that I have more than exercised my feelings to my neighbor ,in my blog and in person. So I guess he has taken it upon himself to return the favor so he is pissing in my plants.I am pretty sure that it isn't the local cat, simply because I caught him terding the place up and well ,did you know a cat can fly quite a ways ? I have planted giant sunflowers in hope of spreading them all over central Texas, I figure it was better than trying to start tumbleweeds.Did you know folks bring back them tumble weeds from west Texas (hell yea) and paint them and fix em up and sell them for a ton of cash.I bet that cat would get a surprize if he tried to terd on a tumbleweed.But anyway back to pissing on my plants,I can tell by the smell and the color. So I bought this color camera in hopes of catching him do it.It backfired my own roomate and cousin "Cuz" was doing it. He just has to piss outdoors sometime and thats cool and all but piss on the cat ,,leave my plants alone

Felt young for a moment

I was hit on by a younger woman. I don't know why ,maybe she has daddy issues. I really don't know her age I was too terrified to ask . She is really very pretty , so whats the deal , why me ? So I started thinking , Its a joke , one of my friends put her up to it. So I quickly ran back in and asked straight out, " Ok who put you up to this ? " She seemed confused and maybe a little scared as I was out of breath and you know what fat old guys look like when they run. There may have been a little sweat sway her way as I stopped abrubtly. She explained " your funny and your fun to be around blah .blah, blah.So she stopped by after work, and we visited. It was ok she loves laughing, drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, I said thats a great song and she looked at me like my dog does, tilted head like wtf is he talking about. So she didnt know the song and I would be willing to wager I wouldnt know not even one of hers either. So I suggested she see the house as I am very proud of it. And it went down hill fast, I forgot that I had my socket set out earlier and forgot to put up my 9/16 socket. Well she slipped on it , her beer slashed the room like a sprinkler, her feet came up in the air and I caught her . But you must keep in mind that I also had beer in hand, so as I was catching her my beer poured right down  her white shirt. My dog thought she was attacking me and bit her on the ankle. So I ran for the first aid kit which is actually and old shoe box ,it works.I grabbed some ointment and band aids and was so proud of how well I was tending to her ankle and she seemed a might bit impressed too. She looked me in the eye with a very serious look and asked. " Is that for hemroids ? " To my absolute horror I looked down to see a tube of  the walmart brand of hemroid ointment. And in the box the antibiotic ointment still there. Well to say the least the night ended there. The only satisfaction I had is when my neighbor opened his door and asked if everything was ok and she flipped him off. He promptly shut the door. So after she flipped him off I called the night a success. I went back in the house and slipped on my 9/16. I have been in bed most of the day

Neighbors 2

     It use to be that when the neighbor stopped by it was for maybe a cup of  sugar , flour , maybe milk . Not now a days. Its a ride ,  cigarettes , or money , and not necessarily in that order . Just for the record I don't smoke , and I will loan money before I loan coffee ! Neighbor is shit out of luck on coffee. And oh I will no longer hand out aspirin , before you know it , your up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache and no aspirin , you scream bang on the walls and the damn neighbor shows up.
" Hey is everything o.k. ? , "Do you need anything ?"  (And Judge that's when I shot him.)
    Does anybody just come over to say howdy how are ya doing ? NO ! Its " hey do you have any new movies,? or can I borrow some dish soap? And then its the all time worst " Can I borrow a roll of toilet paper. My worst fear in this life is not having toilet paper. I refuse to run out of shit tickets , and I don't leave home without them, carry a roll in my truck at all times. Its horrible when you can't make it to the restroom , you have to pull over off the road and generally loose a sock or a sleeve or you end up sliding down a cliff heading for a cold ass stream in New Mexico. I hate wearing my boots without socks so it was usually a shirt sleeve. There are pictures of me with some friends in which more than half of us are down to one sleeve. When asked by his young daughter why as she was looking at the picture he explained why. Then she asked why didn't we just pull off the other sleeve ? Hell no! We had a big time whiskey and beer drunk the night before , that was insurance.
     Oh and I hate I do mean hate when visiting a friend you find to your horror that your friend is one of those neighbors. that is so embarrassing. Then have the nerve to ask me to run next door and ask for toilet paper. You have got to be kidding me? NOPE !  brought my own . Your shit out of luck. Please be neighborly

Neighbors

They have always been there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for you to open your window. Just waiting for you to let the dog out or even pick up the paper. You know exactly what I am talking about. I don't know about you but if my dog is waking me up to go outside to do her business before I have had an opportunity to do mine that is a recipe for disaster. But it never fails . "Oh man she will pee on the floor if I don't get her out, But I really need to get in the crapper pretty quick" OK take the chance... slip robe on and head out don't even have coffee yet . Then out of no where there they are , the neighbors. And when do they show up? Right as you have stretched and let a fart slip. And no this isn't one of those you can cover up. Like the lady at the Hotel the other night, she was a sneeze fart er she sneezed and farted so loud it started an echo in the lobby of the hotel. It was bad made the front desk agent drop the phone and I dropped a tool and almost shorted out the phone system. Bend over to pick up the paper pooooooofo oops you look around. There's the neighbor.  No sense trying to cover it up whats done is done.One of those moments ,your alone, you need to crap. Go to the head and then it happens " KNOCK KNOCK" I really don't think that prison time would suit me so I sat there. He walked in  I am not kidding calling my name. There I am on the crapper. He hollers" Hey where are you" I replied "in the crapper" And in he came ,opened the frigging door and came in. Is there nothing sacred. I was taking a shit. Not a tiny poo, this was a full grown man sure enough dump.Something has to be done about these people..More on this tomorrow.