Neighbors 2

     It use to be that when the neighbor stopped by it was for maybe a cup of  sugar , flour , maybe milk . Not now a days. Its a ride ,  cigarettes , or money , and not necessarily in that order . Just for the record I don't smoke , and I will loan money before I loan coffee ! Neighbor is shit out of luck on coffee. And oh I will no longer hand out aspirin , before you know it , your up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache and no aspirin , you scream bang on the walls and the damn neighbor shows up.
" Hey is everything o.k. ? , "Do you need anything ?"  (And Judge that's when I shot him.)
    Does anybody just come over to say howdy how are ya doing ? NO ! Its " hey do you have any new movies,? or can I borrow some dish soap? And then its the all time worst " Can I borrow a roll of toilet paper. My worst fear in this life is not having toilet paper. I refuse to run out of shit tickets , and I don't leave home without them, carry a roll in my truck at all times. Its horrible when you can't make it to the restroom , you have to pull over off the road and generally loose a sock or a sleeve or you end up sliding down a cliff heading for a cold ass stream in New Mexico. I hate wearing my boots without socks so it was usually a shirt sleeve. There are pictures of me with some friends in which more than half of us are down to one sleeve. When asked by his young daughter why as she was looking at the picture he explained why. Then she asked why didn't we just pull off the other sleeve ? Hell no! We had a big time whiskey and beer drunk the night before , that was insurance.
     Oh and I hate I do mean hate when visiting a friend you find to your horror that your friend is one of those neighbors. that is so embarrassing. Then have the nerve to ask me to run next door and ask for toilet paper. You have got to be kidding me? NOPE !  brought my own . Your shit out of luck. Please be neighborly