Felt young for a moment

I was hit on by a younger woman. I don't know why ,maybe she has daddy issues. I really don't know her age I was too terrified to ask . She is really very pretty , so whats the deal , why me ? So I started thinking , Its a joke , one of my friends put her up to it. So I quickly ran back in and asked straight out, " Ok who put you up to this ? " She seemed confused and maybe a little scared as I was out of breath and you know what fat old guys look like when they run. There may have been a little sweat sway her way as I stopped abrubtly. She explained " your funny and your fun to be around blah .blah, blah.So she stopped by after work, and we visited. It was ok she loves laughing, drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, I said thats a great song and she looked at me like my dog does, tilted head like wtf is he talking about. So she didnt know the song and I would be willing to wager I wouldnt know not even one of hers either. So I suggested she see the house as I am very proud of it. And it went down hill fast, I forgot that I had my socket set out earlier and forgot to put up my 9/16 socket. Well she slipped on it , her beer slashed the room like a sprinkler, her feet came up in the air and I caught her . But you must keep in mind that I also had beer in hand, so as I was catching her my beer poured right down  her white shirt. My dog thought she was attacking me and bit her on the ankle. So I ran for the first aid kit which is actually and old shoe box ,it works.I grabbed some ointment and band aids and was so proud of how well I was tending to her ankle and she seemed a might bit impressed too. She looked me in the eye with a very serious look and asked. " Is that for hemroids ? " To my absolute horror I looked down to see a tube of  the walmart brand of hemroid ointment. And in the box the antibiotic ointment still there. Well to say the least the night ended there. The only satisfaction I had is when my neighbor opened his door and asked if everything was ok and she flipped him off. He promptly shut the door. So after she flipped him off I called the night a success. I went back in the house and slipped on my 9/16. I have been in bed most of the day